Want a spouse like that

Its a pleasant Hyderabad afternoon. A woman is getting down from the plane with a heap of luggage. She is clearly uncomfortable. As she approaches the bus, it is evident to me that she is accompanied by a domestic help who is carrying her baby. They get into the bus, the luggage is arranged in a corner and the lady fetches her baby from the maid. I am wondering, who does that today? Carrying all that luggage oneself; when it is easier to just get the maid to do so.

Just when this was going on in my mind, a couple which was sitting close to where the lady stood, gets up. They want to offer their seats to the mother. Both husband and wife stand instantaneously and the moves look perfectly synchronized. Obviously it was subconscious and not planned. But the intent was common and the reaction time perfect. Things such as these always get my attention. And 2 of them on a single day, surely makes me feel lot better about the world in general. As long as we see these and such deeds, there is hope for man kind.

But lets forget the world for now. All the pondering about the greater good, at times, leaves one with no time for the self.

Lets get back to me. Will I have a spouse like that! I mean, I am not talking about being good and virtuous or anything like that. (All this, even I am not...buhaha!) What I really mean is, will she be a person who shall have interests / views / ideologies similar to the ones that I have? Will she and I agree on important things and have constructive arguments over what we do not agree upon? Or will she be totally different and we shall exhaust our energies just coming to terms with our lack of mutual interests?

Questions don't end! Nor does the apprehension! But, maybe people grow in relationships. The respective Jekylls and Hydes sure might have influences on the other. And maybe when the duel is over to bring forth an equilibrium, couples act as one; for better or for worse! Or do they!

And what am I doing writing all this at this hour and at this age! :-P

Sculling it is!

For a guy with my kinda background, buying a car was an experience. Thoroughly enjoyed it. But I did not know what really was in store for me. More or less learnt to drive in 3 days and was in heavy traffic on the 4th. However, it was the Pune - Mumbai expressway which really swept me off my feet. Really really really loved the experience. And am totally hooked on to driving. Have burnt gallons of gas driving around aimlessly. But for the high that it gives, it is totally worth it.

However, I was in for some more surprises. Happened to find time for an outing before I left Pune for work. And it was mind-blowing! There have not been too many things in the very recent past that have given that feeling. Somehow I even fail to find that focus which I used to while cooking. And all by chance, that day I found peace when the fiber cut through water with each steady stroke.

By the time I found momentum and a good balance, my joy knew no bounds. Felt just like the old days again. Nothing else existed at that particular time; only the diamond scull and I.

And while I drove back home, I blissfully realized. Driving - yes it IS awesome. But its nowhere close to the high that sculling gives me.

Helplessness!!!

"Give me a chance", I said. She smirked! "What would it take?” I added. Silence! And then, don’t know if I heard it correct, she replied,

"I bestow and I seize;

I do both, as I please!

Riot, Cry or Beseech;

Your life is merely on a lease!"

What do you do? How do you react?

Everything can be reasoned out. Each task can be scheduled. You can be in contol. Or can you? Life, as it is, has more googlies in its arsenal than I could have imagined. She is the most unbelievable leveler.

It has always been about plans. Plan A, Plan B and so many more! Short Term, Mid Term and Long Range! Then comes the trick and I am astounded. It is strange how some things make you feel so dumb. It is like being a mere nobody in the vast expanse of the universe. You associate so many actions and feelings with small things around you. And then destiny plays her bugle and all you can do is just listen.

Ask, no, DEMAND for explanations. Run around for reasons. But come back to the same corner from where you started, all by yourself!

Defeated? No! Humbled? Totally!

What do you do then? Derive your strength from wherever you think you can and go on. What else!

Noone's Reading

I usually reacted spontaneously while at ITC. And I learnt over time that it might help to “think before you act”. So, when I was told during a recent appraisal that I am diplomatic, it was not a surprise. However, it was also said that maybe I should jump the fence at time. That was the surprise! With this somewhere in the back of my mind; I sit down today to write about something I discussed with a friend. And beware, this one is uncensored.

Traveling quite a bit across India, I learnt early on that there is this significant difference between North and South Indians. Beyond any caste or class classifications, there sure are these primary differences in the 2 breeds. South Indians are a lot more God Fearing; they are sincere, hardworking and not to forget a lot more cleanliness-loving (just go and compare railway stations across India, you would agree). North Indians on the contrary are more confident about themselves, brash; they show off and are loud mouths in general. With these biases I went to a premier B-school. Mind you, futures CEOs go to such places. And I thought, “Hey, there would be SO much to learn here”.

I guess the deterioration of images of the “to be CEOs” started off with the Orientation week itself. Initially, I was taken aback by the sheer achievements of people around me. For my section’s performance we had these amazing musicians, dancers and what not (on paper only) who came in to take a lead. If you ask me, our performance was mediocre to say the least and I know people who gave much better performances in relatively more private setting over the next one year. Then came the sports; it was so damn hilarious to see self-declared state and national level players (on paper again) bite dust (literally AND figuratively) on actual playgrounds.

The story continued when people started organizing worldwide events, being part of study groups, ELPs and the like. “ALL talk and no steam” became - like - a norm. Most people around you seemed like that. Club committee members were never present for club meetings. “I don’t know why it has not happened, I had sent an email” was amongst the classics that I encountered. And one of THE best would be one gentleman going up to a one of the leading banks which was interviewing for operations roles and saying “hey, take this resume to the interviewer and tell him I want an interview with him for an I-banking role only”. Give them a break loser!

And your guess if correct, the dude was a North Indian. However, what I now think is that North or South Indian does not really matter. A significant chuck of the societies that I am exposed to (I should have adhered to some caution here, but whatever!) lives in a pseudo world with inflated self-perceptions. I keep seeing and hearing about dudes and dudettes opening their mouths without any concern for correct or incorrect. So many credits are taken for work never done. A lady sleeping with a man married to someone else speaks about how people do not know how to behave. And I am like, “huh???” They talk about ethics, morals and values without having any.

So, now you’d ask me what’s MY problem! Why don’t I just live and let live? You know what, there no problem; but “live and let live", met too!!!

Big Fish in a Small Pond

I read an article about small fish/big fish and was wondering what exactly is the better thing! This is the perspective of a fish in a small pond.

Agreed that the learning in a small pond could be much higher. People are open to ideas and opinions are respected, if not always considered. You can create systems for yourself and others. Propose and take up new activities, responsibilities. One important advantage could be the opportunity of exposure to multiple functions of the organisation. The growth no doubt is much higher in the smaller pond. I have experienced this in both a new business of a big organisation and a relatively small organisation.

However, there are other aspects of the small pond that might not be all that pleasant. For one, it is a lot more hard work. A lot of times, work is not at all defined. You might actually reinvent the wheel a lot of times. I feel that there is no way that you can read about/assimilate best practices all the time. Resources could be meager and you might end up spending time just making ends meet. You might feel direction-less at times. It does require a good amount of self motivation.

Having said that, I would still go with the 'big fish in a small pond' approach any day. One, because being in such scenarios for more or less all my professional life, I think I am more comfortable with the ambiguity. And two, because I personally feel that in the long run, a small pond does make one "battle-ready".

These Small Triumphs I tell you...!!!

We poke our hands and newspapers into the neighbour's space in flights. We rush to those preferred places in the local train. We have to overtake the other vehicles on the road. And arguments? Well, we just have to win them, no matter who is right! Most times it is only about that small elated feeling that you have when you "defeat" someone else.

Premjeet Gaikwad is no shrink! But at times I wonder what this is all about. I am sure people from Section E shall always remembers those "I am a national football player" type claims. Every other person's resume says s/he can play the guitar. I think food inflation should not be such a major concern; we are all used to seeing profile "inflations" for ages.

What is it that makes us behave like this? Is it the perfect act that we otherwise play at our work places? Are we just looking to let our guards down and get back at someone? Anyone who is dominate-able in such a case! Does the frustration of having to work with a jerk as a boss get let off on a unsuspecting maid/vendor?

If only majority of us imbibe that rare quality called patience within us. If only we could keep emotions from one aspect of our lives away from the other aspects. Could we then stop looking for those small little triumphs in extremely irrelevant situations? Would the correct argument then prevail rather than the louder one? Or is it that as humans, we need those vices to keep our faith in the occasional virtues that come across in our paths!

Random thoughts, I wont justify...I merely Rest my case...!!!

Up in the Air

Its been 3 hectic weeks now. And I am already doing some good work. I think I am doing too much too early. However, Hari thinks I shall be able to cope up. Lets see how things shape up.

A significant thing however is the traveling. I did not expect to travel so much. The nice and cozy house in Mumbai is only waiting for me to live in it. Haven't been able to really experience it. Even right now am at the Hyderabad airport waiting for a flight which is delayed like crazy.

Don't know why but the movie "Up in the Air" keeps coming to my head right now. Cant remember how many miles George Clooney talked about, but I think I should have a target for myself as well. I think I shall soon regain my previous Jet Privilege status and surpass that too. Am thinking of activating my dormant Kings Club account as well.

Well that all from me right now. Liking the traveling as of now. More for the vast variety of people I am meeting. Awesome learning. Like Hari says, no one can teach you better than your customer.